When my sons were babies, my husband and I established a nightly routine. We would read to them, snuggle and sing. We would pray and kiss them goodnight and then lay them down without resistance. They were cute and snuggly, and we would lay their little bodies peacefully positioned in their cribs. We’d say goodnight and turn off the lights leaving only their nightlight on and the door opened just a crack.
Then my husband and I would retire to the living room for our time together. All would be quiet and peaceful. And then we would hear this restless shifting, back and forth on the crib mattress. We would hear them turning the knobs on the entertainment center attached to their crib. We would hear them chatter and sing. This would go on for quite sometime, and then it would be quiet. It was so cute. My husband and I would giggle listening from the living room.
But before going to bed we always peeked into their cribs. Sometimes we would find their fitted bed sheets pulled out from the corners. We’d find their clothing undone including their diapers; their hair all messed up; their tiny legs rested up against the sides of their cribs; their stuffed doll or blanket on the opposite side of the room. We even found one of our sons had fallen asleep in a sitting position up against the corner of the crib. My husband and I would laugh and wonder at how they struggled to get their little bodies to sleep.
Sometimes, I have a hard time settling down to my quiet times with the Lord. I can get into such a restless mode. Just as I sit down, I get back up again to get something or to check on the laundry real quick. I will sit down again, and then I remember something else and I begin to scribble on sticky notes one note after another. I feel like a fish flopping out of water. I am restless and fighting to sit still.
Why do I get so restless before sitting quietly with the Lord? It seems I suddenly remember all I have to do and worry that if I don’t tend to it right away, I might forget and that would be disastrous. I pull out my Bible and attempt to read, and it is like looking at alphabet soup. I can’t focus on the words. My mind is still busy racing from one thought to another.
But then I finally tire myself out from restlessness and realize I am wasting time. My morning will be gone soon, and then I will have to leave my quiet time slot and get going on errands. So I pull out my guitar and start singing worship songs. Sometimes I have to pace back and forth and sing until I feel quiet enough in body to come before the Lord. “The Spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)
And when I finally get my body to be quiet and rest before the Lord, it is the best place. I start to pray and pray and pour out songs of praise. I enter into such a wonderful time of quietness before the Lord, and I don’t want to leave. Why did I take so long to get here? It really is the best place for my weary self to be. I find my rest when I am finally still, for then I know that He is God.
© Copyright 2015 by Rosi Fowler